In a bold new federal initiative aimed at “revolutionizing road safety and accountability,” the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) has announced a pilot program that will employ professional NASCAR drivers to test temporary highway construction zones at racing speeds before they open to the public.

Dubbed “Operation Orange Cone,” the program will launch this summer in North Carolina, Texas, and parts of Ohio — states with both high NASCAR loyalty and a statistically baffling number of "temporary" construction projects that have lasted over 17 years.

According to DOT Secretary Brenda Escobar, the idea is simple: If Kyle Busch can survive the detour, you probably can too.

“We need real data. Simulations are fine, but nothing exposes unsafe merge lanes like a stock car going 147 mph through a half-finished off-ramp,” Escobar said at a press conference held inside a Cracker Barrel parking lot adjacent to I-85.

How It Works

Once a construction zone is “near completion” — defined loosely as “cones present and someone waved vaguely” — a certified NASCAR driver will perform a live-speed run-through of the area using a DOT-liveried race car equipped with sensors, cameras, and an optional foam cowcatcher.

Drivers will be scored on:

• Lane stability

• Cone survivability

• “General vibes” of the work zone

• Number of accidental median launches

If the driver completes the test lap without a crash, evasive maneuver, or roadside barbecue interruption, the site is considered “Federal Race-Ready” and may reopen to civilian traffic.

Public Reaction: Curious, Concerned, Weirdly Enthusiastic

Reactions have ranged from confusion to full-throated support.

“I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong,” said one South Carolina resident while grilling kielbasa next to a roadside traffic barrel. “Frankly, if Dale Jr. says it’s safe, I’d trust that more than a ‘Lane Shift Ahead’ sign drawn in Sharpie.”

A Change.org petition to let drivers “earn hazard pay in Miller Lite points” reached 40,000 signatures in 48 hours.

Some NASCAR drivers have already volunteered for the program, seeing it as a way to “give back” and “see what it’s like driving sober at high speeds.”

“Honestly, some of these on-ramps in Virginia are sketchier than Talladega,” said Joey Logano. “We’re just giving America the inspection it deserves.”

Congressional Concerns

Some lawmakers have expressed skepticism. Senator Patty Hamm (D-WA) called the program “reckless,” adding, “We should be reducing highway speed risks, not testing them for sport.”

In response, DOT officials pointed out that the agency has spent $400 million on road safety studies since 1997 that concluded: “People drive worse when angry, wet, or texting.”

“We think 15 years of reports saying ‘slippery when icy’ is enough,” said Escobar. “It’s time for rubber on asphalt.”

Possible Expansion

If successful, Operation Orange Cone may expand to include:

• “Pothole Drag Trials” — short sprints through untreated pothole zones to determine suspension survivability

• “Traffic Circle Confidence Tests” — NASCAR drivers entering new roundabouts at speed to check signage clarity

• A proposed “Wrong-Way Driver Interception” event, sponsored by Monster Energy and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA)

The DOT is also in early talks with ESPN8 (“The Ocho”) to televise the testing, with working titles including “Fast Lane: Federal Edition” and “Paving Fury: Government Drift.”

Construction crews nationwide have reportedly begun spray-painting track-style start lines onto recently resurfaced stretches of I-40.